Afraid of the Darkness

Major blackout in two days straight. Interesting fact is that it is now one week till Raya starts. Sometimes I wonder is someone is messing with the power cables like some terrorist who is bent on destroying the week's festive spirit. It's be funny, if you think about it, with nearly everyone rushing to the shops to buy big bulks that will last the month just to find that the power went out and all the cashier queues are stretched long because the cash register is out of order.

To tell you truth, I dread the darkness even though I depend on it to catch sleep. It reminds me how you can get lost easily if you can't see whatever is in front of you. Some like myself would feel all claustrophobic for a moment but try not to break down from the anxiety. Imagine if you're a blind man but you can't hear whatever is around you. Believe it or not, I'd purposefully tap the metal railings of the staircase at home just so that anyone would know where I was or ensure myself I know where I was.

I haven't told anyone yet, but during that training scheme the seniors held for us in the beginning of the year where they blindfolded us so that we could communicate scared the hell out of me. It felt like I was walking in circles while everyone was calling me out. I froze a few times with my hands feeling the edges of the tables surround us guiding me where I was going.

I still keep the blindfold just to remind myself how lost I felt. When I think about it, I wonder why I was afraid of the darkness in the first place. I guess it reminded me what it feels to be lifeless.