I dedicate my 500th post to the PTEB Sixers

I finally reached the 500th post. Strange that I got here despite the length of updates I have been making. This post, I dedicate to my Sixers. Where Glory Days will never be forgotten.

It's been 2 years since. But you know, I remain eager and confident we'll get back to the field of battle again.

Love and Faith

I've been wondering about my current stance in love's existence. Despite the number of times I've said that I gave up, it seems evident that I am still unsure of it myself. That's me. Indecisive. It just so happens that I had another of those 'dreams' that talk to me.

You see, there was this girl I met once, and I remember her eyes. It was during one of those days when I has someone else on my mind. Yet, there she was, and I forgot the problems I had then. Can you imagine seeing a glimpse of someone and all your troubles are gone?

Then today, I had this dream  and she was sitting on my bed. As to the curious nature of how she got into my room even with the door locked is puzzling, yet in dreams you don't think about this a great deal. I said her name, then she turned her head with a smile on her face. Her eyes were still the same color I remember.

We talked for awhile, laughing at the fact that she was in my room which is impossible. It seemed like a long conversation. Before I could ask how did she get here, she asked me a question that I never expected.

"Do you believe in love?"

I told her I did. She asked why the past tense, of which then I replied:

"My faith in it was gone."

She sighed.

"You still have me in your mind."

How did she know that, I wondered. That was awkward.
I laughed. It was a nice thought that she knew.

"Something inside you", she said, "still believes in it, even if it hurts"
She knew everything, like she understood every part of my life. As a final word, she said:
"You haven't given up on it, even if you try. Your faith is still strong".

To have a dream tell me that was really weird.
Yet it was serious.

"I know I'll never see you again," I said. "I'll wake up and realize it's a dream. I hate that, waking up to the most special memory and forget it. In real life, I know you don't see me the same way I did. Then I will realize why do I still love? It is better if it never occurred to me at all. Yet I still does."

"I'm here right now," she said. "I know you won't forget."

I knew what she meant.
"You kept it alive didn't you."

"So did she," she said.

Hey You

It’s been awhile, so here it goes…

If you’re here reading, hi.
Thanks for not forgetting me.
I hope that you checking my blog is because you’ve been wondering where I’ve gone missing.

I really want to let you know this:
My heart that day when you stopped talking to me.
That same day, something in me felt like it died.
The next day, I gave up on love, after years of believing in it.
Then I gave up on you, after all these years I thought you’ll be there.

Yesterday, I had a dream. The dream came like a flashback and then I remembered all those good times and forgot all this hate I’ve been accumulating.



It went like this: It was you and me, going down to the canteen and bought some food while I got myself some extra chips. Then after, I fell on this ditch and like, passed out for a few seconds before going noisy on how karma-ish it was. You laughed and we went on after crying for a moment for the chips I spilt.

Then we had our lunch before the next class and I saw how amusing it was seeing you chew with difficulty. We talked and ate, and then when we were finished, we talked some more. I remember you got this smile I really like. But I always remembered your hair. We talked about your hair a lot, vividly I remember how long it was.

When the dream ended, all the anger on you was still there, but this time a bit relaxed.

I thought about the difference of my life with you in it, and my life without you in it. But I get it. When this happened, it gave an opportunity for me to search myself. You know, basic ‘find whole reason to being’ stuff, what you really mean to me, and why I could never put you off my mind. I think I’m close to the answer.

I wish I could tell you about Japan. It was your dream too.

And you know, the moment I was in Japan and breathed in the spring air it was a journey start to healing. Yet, it was the flowers that helped me.



My heart healed the moment I saw the blossoms.

Wished you were there with me.