No Matter How Temporary

This is related to the post on April 14th 2008: "Time is not straight line."

The snow may cover our tracks... but we can never forget that we made them in the first place. Our lives are as temporary as the snow, our footprints may disappear in time, but our memories are important. It's because though we try so hard to blot out the difficult moments, we can't lose the best ones.

The final lines of Blankets:

"How satisfying it is to leave a mark on a blank surface.
To make a map of my movement--

What's past is done

I removed "A Fierce Journey" because I am now at a stage to believe whatever happens jus happens.

I thought I'd write the story as a reminder how many things that can happen to you that may seem terrible or sad, and then you feel you deserve it.

something happens to you, you fret over it, then you pretend it's a bad dream, then its gone.

A girl told me last night that there is still tomorrow.

What's done is done, I cannot change it. I have to accept the responsibility that it happened to me.

I also removed all the hate and depression posts in my blog because there is only tomorrow to think about.

So I apologise for those who are offended who thought of the story as a hate message.
I promise you that all of it is entirely unintentional.

Intellectual discussions

Whenever Kaka goes online, we start pulling out concepts that was discuss in a way that its pretty difficult for some people to compehend. Here is today's conversation about "Fiction and Reality".

Ziggy Latif says:
my mocks, I chose "Fiction is unrelated to reality"
Ziggy Latif says:
That's where my tutor said I wrote with passion and knowledge in my content
Naj says:
nice
Ziggy Latif says:
i shud show u the essay sometime ^_^
Naj says:
but... fiction iS related to reality... ?
Naj says:
at least, i believe so
Ziggy Latif says:
yes it is
Ziggy Latif says:
there is fiction in truth, and truth in fiction
Ziggy Latif says:
i didnt want to use that concept because i think its complicated
Naj says:
well not really if you think about it it terms of how we perceive things
Naj says:
like, what is true to me is what i think is true
Naj says:
even if my mind is imagining things i.e creating fiction, it's true therefore there's trutch
Naj says:
*truth
Ziggy Latif says:
ah, ur thinking of that philosophy
Ziggy Latif says:
i think therefore i am
Naj says:
and fiction is just our imagination reducing reality to things we think we can avoid confronting in real life, that is to say, we unconsciously acknowledge 'it' as reality and reduce it's form through imagination and pretend that 'it' is fiction
Naj says:
hahahahha
Naj says:
yup
Naj says:
and a little psychology
Ziggy Latif says:
sorry, had to absorb all that up
Naj says:
right hehehehehe
Ziggy Latif says:
ur saying we decide its fiction
Naj says:
no, i'm saying fiction is reality and reality is fiction
Naj says:
because, fiction is subjective
Naj says:
reality is subjective
Ziggy Latif says:
i c
Ziggy Latif says:
let me get this straight
Naj says:
no 'person' can 100% produce an objective reality
Ziggy Latif says:
I think its impossible that zani is going to jump out of the toilet with his underwear on his head because I 'believe' he's in another room and its very unlikely he'll go crazy
Ziggy Latif says:
but that's because it is my assumption that he's not going to jump out of the toilet with his underwear on his head
Naj says:
yeah, your subconscious is already assuming *key word=assuming* the rational thing, rational as what society likes and rational as what society likes and rational as what reality is
Naj says:
but that's a pretty funny example
Ziggy Latif says:
its extreme, but it might work with an essay ^_^
Naj says:
*but* if you were insane, or deranged. and you start thinking that zani wiLl jump out like that, he will, right? at least, because your reality does not conform to 'rational assumptions'
Naj says:
i think that kind of proves that fiction and reality are connected
Naj says:
i think therefore i am. i think therefore it is.
Naj says:
hahahhaha
Ziggy Latif says:
if i am insane, thn I think my assupmtion will be correct and zani wears his underwear on his head with a dancing greeen martian
Ziggy Latif says:
cool
Naj says:
yeah hahahhahaah something like that


Complicated, isn't it?

Dance Tonight

Sir Paul McCartney is the rarest kind of musician in the world. It's like everything he touches or makes turns to gold.

I am a big Beatles fan and I know that when Lennon and McCartney combined their lyrical abilities, they created a musical force that changed life forever. McCartney is no exception when it comes to making magic.

'Dance Tonight' just proves that any music instrument Sir Paul McCartney touches, he can make it into something beautiful, catchy, and impressive. McCartney stated that whenever he played the mandolin, his three year old daughter would dance. The song is very lighthearted, something you can play at home when you want to have fun. It's like whenever you listen to it in the morning, the place just moves in activity.

Here's the video for Dance Tonight. If you look closely, you'll find Natalie Portman ^_^



Everybody gonna dance tonight
Everybody gonna feel alright
Everybody gonna dance around tonight.

Everybody gonna dance around
Everybody gonna hit the ground
Everybody gonna dance around tonight

Well you can come over to my place if you want to
You can do anything you wanna do.

Everybody gonna dance tonight
Everybody gonna feel alright
Everybody gonna dance around tonight.
(whistles)

Well you can come over to my place if you want to
You can do anything you wanna do.

Everybody gonna stamp their feet
Everybody gonna feel the beat
Everybody gonna dance around tonight.

Everybodys gonna dance tonight
Everybodys gonna feel arlight
Everybodys gonna dance around tonight.

Everybodys gonna jump and shout
Everybodys gonna sing it out
Everybodys gonna dance around tonight

Well you can come over to my place if you want to
You can do anything you wanna do.

Everybodys gonna dance tonight
Everybodys gonna feel arlight
Everybodys gonna dance around tonight
Everybodys gonna dance around tonight...

They even made an ipod ad for it!

Lets put a smile on that face!

Everyone's depressed after the As results came out. People crying and wishing that this is all a bad dream..

But cheer up people! We can still make it for the A2! Work hard and don't give up ^_^

Class photo

PTEB has its own tradition. My years in secondary school wasn't a pleasant experience, but I made my way through. I remember how class photos were all formal and unexciting. Only in PTEB, you make your own greatest experience.


What's one of those traditions in PTEB? My first year in college I was a frightful boy with no sense of direction, but there are things that are new to you. I remember my first free pose photo. It came as a big surprise but we understood and play along. That was one of our fun orientations.

Now, tradition is embedded into our blood. Teachers and Students alike. Once the camera man starts saying "FREE POSE!", that's our cue to show how much we feel for PTEB.

New profile picture

The Armored Bear of Rugby

This was meant for the Equinox Comic Contest intro. It wasn't included, but at least they liked it ^_^. It was my first attempt to draw with a caligraphy pen (which works like wonders, thanks Silent Sinner Abella for the recommendation!). I hope you like it.

And someone please tell Abella to return my pen?

A scene in Blankets

I was going through Blankets, the graphic novel. Really, I can never tire myself from it. Everytime I flip through the pages is always something new. It's like when I'm reading Watchmen or V for Vendetta, every frame should be viewed subjectively and closely.

There are certain scenes, however, that stand out as one of the most powerful. Namely, the image below takes up most of the page but what it displays in its presentation is powerful. A symbol of faith in the form of love, or that love shall prevail even in the most dire situations.


There are no words to describe the power of what the artist is expressing in this page.

Sixers in the Brunei Times

We were Saturday's edition. There was a reporter who wanted to interview Saffuan, who is the youngest Rugby player in the National Team. So he took some pictures during our practice games and then the whole team.

The Original Sixers, now in the media. I was thinking how the Sixers will last in PTEB. I hope it'll be forever.

Here's the copy of the Newspaper in Education page in the Brunei Times website:
http://www.bt.com.bn/en/files/digital/NIE/Issue43/NIE02Aug.3.pdf

MD games coming. Get ready Sixers, believe.

To Prepare for Battle

My Rugby Gear is always organised. It's like preparing your suit of armor placed in front of you, knowing full well that the armor proudly carries that spirit of battle. All my boots, clothing, med kit, bag, water bottles are ready to be brought into the field.



(L-R)
1. My rugby shirt and shorts. That's the Sixers polo shirt.
2. My scrum hat and body armor. For the intensity of scrums.
3. The jacket and cap I got during the PSK. It's for after the game.
4. Socks and other accessories like gloves and knee guard

(below)
The box where I keep my rugby boots (Football boots really, but super confortable to run with) and my bag where I keep my things once I bring it to the field.

I know it's bit over, but I believe once your mind is ready, your spirit will rise above your own expectations because you've gripped that confidence.

In case you're wondering why am I keeping my gear ready, the MD game is coming soon.

Fantasia

"Hmm.. Azzi what's that perfume your using?" the girls asked after a whiff of the Silky for Men perfume had brought them to their knees.

"It's Fantasia, ladies" I replied. "It smells like your fantasies.."



Today's conversation:
Me: Dad, they call me a MURDERER in school now.

Dad: MURDERER?! why?

Me: Because, Dad *cool pose* I'm a LADY KILLER

Hamsin

This is my adrenaline pumping song. This song is only available in DJ max portable. It's a music game from Korea and one of the difficult songs to play (in which I proudly declare I won only twice ^_^)



It's got this whole kind of jagged sound, a kind of vampiric house music. It's one of those songs I listen to when I lie down on a coach and feel my body work according to the beats. Pretend you're hallucinating.

Psychosocial

Today, I'm back to my metal roots again. Slipknot returns as heavy as ever in their recently released new single, 'Psychosocial'.

It's a whole new sound, with heavy bashing and demonic guitar solos. A different direction after Vol 3: Subliminal messages.

Some of you might find it surprising that a Beatles fan myself, listen to music as angry as Slipknot. Slipknot is the most awesome metal band that stick to their roots, unlike Korn (still respect!). Here's the video for all of you ^_^

Have I really grown up?

A conversation today with a friend

She said, "There's someone I like"

If I was the boy I was last year, I wouldn't have heard this remark with a straight face.

"That's nice", I said.

I would panic though. We've known each other for five years.
It is a good thing though. It just proves how much I've matured over the years.

Pocky

Did I mention I love Pocky? Thank you Nazuna for sharing the Green Tea Pocky while I was in Japan ^_^



My conversation with Zani in the car today..

Me: *Takes a bite on a Pocky stick* You know, Zani? If Pocky had a slogan, it'll be "From my Cold Dead Hands"

Zani: Why?

Me: Ask me for a Pocky stick.

Zani: Ok.. Can I have a Pocky?

Me: Only if you can pry it from my COLD DEAD HANDS!

My Latest Project

The idea popped up sometime after the Equinox Comic Contest. While Ms Maday and I were discussing on making a book about with all the entries, I thought about making my own collection of single page short stories. Since the contest was immensely popular, the idea came back.



Really, this is actually to hone my writing skills. Now I'm currently looking for collaborators and artist to submit their works and maybe a professional to do my logo (which sucks really in my opinion, but I was ambitious ^_^).

To succeed is to break boundaries, and everything can happen if you put your heart into it.

So, who wanna join my crusade?

What I'm feeling right now..

"Career Crisis"

The Greatest Games in History: The Armored Bear's perspective

The greatest sports event in history, competed by athletes around the world..
and Brunei's missing out of it?

Despite the beautiful display of the Beijing Olympics, the news came as a shocker that waved throughout the country. Discussion on Brunei Darussalam's exclusion from the Beijing Olympics erupted in all GP classes in PTEB. Mr Kendrew pulled out the news from an article in Brunei Times.

It's as if the country is open to a terrorist attack, panic and chaos everywhere. I close my eyes pretending this to be a bad dream. Reality kicks in and there's nothing we can do about it.

From the Borneo Bulletin headlines: Blame Games!
Yesterday, the Brunei Darussalam National Olympic Council (BDNOC) broke its silence with a press statement explaining that they were not able to send athletes to compete in the 2008 Beijing Olympiad due to the fact that the Ministry of Culture Youth and Sports did not endorse its approval for the athletes to participate.

In this case, the Ministry of Culture Youth and Sports reasoned that the athletes in the women's swimming competition has not attained the requirement achievement within the regional and international level while the male athlete was not fit enough to participate due to an ankle injury sustained during the National Sports Festival.

From Ranoadidas.com 10th August.
It was also mentioned in The Brunei Times that Brunei could be sanctioned because of the withdrawal. That would mean a possibility of a fine and in the worst case scenario, Brunei won’t be able to participate in SEA Games or other international tournaments in the future *touch wood*

A really sad film

Found this film in youtube.



Tore my heart out.

Wild Side of Life in PTEB

Another collection of photos from the wild side of life in PTEB. What lead these ordinary human beings into a state of hysteria? The real question is: Were they ordinary in the first place? Isn't it funny that you'll find most of the weirdest people sit on the right side of the canteen? Me included! Enjoy the pictures ^_^

Effy's smiley sticker. "It's for everyone I love." Thank you Effy ^_^


They just popped out of nowhere! Looking at these flowers reminds me of my time when I was in Japan. Spring in Japan is like heaven on earth.


Kyrul's birthday ages ago. Why is he called "Fuchow"?


Hey, it was a cheese cake to cry for! Atleast the oreo cakes available ^_^


O_O Zaidah is apparently enjoying her cake..


Mia's kid sister ^_^ Let's just say we changed roles and she sits crosslegged while I have excrutiating pain between my legs!


The Nazi. Hungry and ready to kill ^_^


The boys fooling around. Interested in learning 'Abu-keet'?


The Coven of Witches drooling over a poster. Girls dream on!

Little Big Planet

The time when the first LBP trailer was released, like every other gamer, thought it was purely FMV. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the perfect first impression of the awesome power of the PS3. The realistic detail of its graphics proved it to be a winner among many games and one the same list of greatly anticipated games as Metal Gear Sold 4.



Here's a video of the Online Co-op. I remember watching the PS3 Home trailer where you communicate with other avatars then it goes straight to online gaming. This video is also the first look of the games insanely amazing graphics.

The next video touches on its customizing features and level building. Hilarious.



Some special downloadable content also included for those who pre-order. It's cool that you get to customise your ragdoll with cool costumes, but this is way cooler. Getting to see the Nariko from Heavenly Sword in mini size, jumping around obstacles... wow. I think most of you guys saw its gameplay on Heroes?



Nariko in Little Big Planet help me decide to buy the game once it's released. What's really funny, however, is the other downloadable costume which strengthened my resolve.


OMFG, it's the GOD OF WAR.

Warwick Avenue

First time I listened to "Mercy", I knew it'll be a timeless classic. Like a modern day Aretha Franklin, Duffy has a voice of the golden ages. She sings so amazingly, it is as if she brought the listeners back to the nostalgic world of the old days.

What caught my ears, however, was Warwick Avenue.
The first time I saw the music video in Channel V, it felt so depressing yet so powerful. The music was soft and comforting but her voice brings you to tears. In the video, we see her leaving Warwick Avenue Station and along the journey she starts crying. The song itself unfolds the story, suggesting the break up had occured on "entrance of the tube". She starts crying even when she says, "You hurt me bad but I won't shed a tear" that suggest the pain in leaving.

It may sound like a break up song, but it's mostly on starting anew. Moving on after a relationship might be a difficult process, but we have to live with it, be strong, drop the past and be true.



When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over a little time
Promise me you wont step out of line

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please drop the past and be true
Don't think we're okay
Just because I'm here
You hurt me bad but I won't shed a tear

I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving
But you don't love me
I've been confused
Outta my mind lately
You think you're loving
But I want to be free
Baby you’ve hurt me

When I get to Warwick Avenue
We'll spend an hour but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you the answers, now here's the door

When I get to Warwick Avenue
I'll tell you baby that we're through

'Cause I'm leaving you for the last time baby
You think you're loving
But you don't love me
I've been confused
And outta my mind lately
You think you're loving
But you don't love me
I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me

All the days spent together
I wish for better
But I didn't want the train to come
Now it's departed, I'm broken hearted
Seems like we never started
All those days spent together
When I wished for better
And I didn't want the train to come
No, no

You think you're loving
But you don't love me
I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me
You don't love me
I want to be free
Baby you've hurt me

This is one song for a rainy day.

The Spirit

Another great comic adapted to film. Only the director is none other than Frank Miller, famed comic book creator and now popular film director. It's interesting that the visual style of the film is similar to Sin City, one of his comic books adapted earlier. I believe this is how Miller wants all his comics to be: surreal in between the boundaries of film and comics.

The Spirit made by legendary comic artist, Will Eisner, who is the leading role on making comic books or graphic novels into literature form through his published work "A Contract with God". Without Eisner, the greatest works of comic book fiction would never be thought seriously. Books like Blankets, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, 300, Sin City, and many more critically acclaimed graphic novels would never appear.

Originally created in 1940, The Spirit was mainly not aiming towards children but adults as well. In the midst between newspapers where they compete with Superhero comics, Eisner instead created a new breed of Superhero.

The story itself does not fit into one genre. Like Batman, the Spirit is a masked vigilante and a detective, which falls to crime dramas or noir but there is lightheartedness in the frachise and you might read a few romances and adventure.

Frank Miller changed the costume from blue to black and red to fit it in to look like a film noir. A clever approach to a comical character. Check the trailers below.

"My City. I cannot deny her. My city screams. She is my mother, she is my lover, and I am her Spirit."



"You're in love with every woman you meet, Mr Spirit. You say lovely things to all of us. And you mean everything you say."

Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes

Some might recall this discussion last year. On February 16th 2007, I made a post on one of the greatest literary works in the history of Graphic novels ("Who Watches the Watchmen"). I remember reading Watchmen and felt intrigued by the storyline and its magnificient use of symbolisms. Then I mentioned about the film adaptation that was coming soon.

Well, the wait is gone.
After a more than a year of anticipation, the trailer has finally revealed itself.



The costumes have become more intense, the presentation is fierce.
I thing the first thing that caught my eye was when Silk Spectre II crashes from the ceiling, as if revealing a new hidden prowress in the superheroine.
Manhattan, Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, The Comedian, Ozymandias, Rorsharch...

God, if everyone here knew how this film is important.

I think the best way to describe the story is from an interview by the director Zack Snyder (who directed 300) I read, "That's really the dilemma that they face. Superman has the ability to go to all world leaders and say 'I will kill all of you if you don't behave.' He could do that, but why doesn't he?"

Big Farewell to the Gentle Giant

My fun moments are mostly in my sociology class, ranging from the hilarious projects we did and the games we played the day before the holidays. So it did come as a shocker when we heard Ckg Hadi was leaving. Next to the planned dinner we were holding at Capers, Ckg Hadi keeps surprising is to the end with his pastries ^_^







Sayonara Ckg Hadi! Hope we'll see you again!

The End from Scratch

Related to June 12th 2008 post. How I started History: The Equinox Comic Contest.

I did something that not many people could do. I started a contest from scratch and made it successful. It's beautiful to see something that you put you heart into bloom at its height.

Last night, I was working on the Equinox sign at home with my dad. As you can see below, you can see the process of how I worked it.

First of all, Dad and I picked out some random colour paper to use to cover the board.

Then choose different fonts for display. See 'Comic Contest' and 'Writing' is in different fonts.

With Dad's help, we designed the placing of the words on the board, and it looks bloody amazing!

VOILA! The next day with the help of the juniors, it looks magnificient!

After all the designs are done, the ceremony begins and the Seniors and Juniors celebrate their hardships.

The Juniors who will take over for us ^_^

I fixed the entries that came in into a nice display.

After the ceremony. Both displays for everyone to see.

Ckg Abdullah, The Vice Principal, was amazed with what I did and the Equinox entries, decribing it as 'Very Commercial'. Then he remembered the day I met him during the registering before school started. He reminded me that I wanted to become a Film Director and saw how much I progressed over the two years.

I went home today satisfied with what I did. Now I understand the satisfaction after blood, sweat, and tears. The Comic Contest is my pride and joy I will remember for the rest of my life. What you start from small can become big if you put you backbone into it. To succeed is to break boundaries, I told everyone. I made my own advertisements, my own samples, designed the board, created the displays..

Why am I doing this? So I can be remembered. Mom said to me, "The real winner is you in the end."