"Masih Cinta" by Kotak

When Yean sang this song during the gig I attended, it made me watch teary eyed because it reminded me of how I felt years before. Until now, I've been listening to Bon Jovi's Always but this reflected most on my what I'm most sad about. All because of a dream I had. But it wasn't just tears of sadness, it was also of how proud I am of Yean. She delivered the song with emotion and it filled the theatre with feelings of love and the reminder of loss.

What better way to explain a song than listening to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdym2AAmOqs

Tik tik tik waktu berdetik

Tak mungkin bisa kuhentikan

Maumu jadi mauku

Pahit pun itu ku tersenyum

Kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku
Saat berhadapan kamu

Tik tik tik air mataku

Biar terjatuh dalam hati

Mauku tak penting lagi

Biar kubuat bahagiamu

Kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku
Saat berhadapan kamu

Kamu tak bisa bayangkan rasanya

Jadi diriku yang masih cinta

Kamu tak tahu hancurnya hatiku

Saat berhadapan kamu

Kamu tak bisa bayangkan rasanya

Jadi diriku yang masih cinta

Update:
I forgot the Translation. Here we go.

Tik Tik Tik time ticks
Impossible for me to stop
What you want becomes what I want
Even bitter ones I'll still smile

You don't know what my heart feels
The moment I'm standing in front of you

Tik Tik Tears from my eyes
Let it fall in my heart
What I want doesn't matter
Let me make you happy

You don't know what my heart feels
The moment I'm standing in front of you
You couldn't imagine the feeling
Like myself while I'm still in love

You don't know my heart broke
The moment I'm standing in front of you
You couldn't imagine the feeling
Like myself while I'm still in love

A Letter from Myself

I received a letter from myself. I wrote it during the ITB orientation where I listed some goals then kept with Ckg Azizah for safe keeping. Now I have it in my hands after a difficult six months I am happy to find I have fulfilled most of them.

One of them I wrote: Draw a Map so that no one would get lost like you did.

Hallway looked like another hallway during my first day however eventually you do tend to get comfortable with the place and find that it is easy to know where you are. Another I wrote: Get a Distinction or two of which I have for my Communication Presentation. But the jewel of these goals is Start a Rugby Team and I did. The ITB Silverbolts Rugby Football Club who are already gaining some popularity among the departments and ready to conquer in the next year.

Now I have a new goal to add in my list: Pass my Exam and move to Semester 2. It'll be a hell lot of practice, at least it's for the sake of success. Then the next year, my goal would be to bring The Silverbolts to bring the blaze of glory.

Bon Jovi 'Always'

This Romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up.

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up.

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's ment to be
Well I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby that's just me.

And I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
And I know when I die you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you always.

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say good bye.

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes I'm just a man.

When he holds you close
When he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him, that his words were mine
To say to you till the end of time.

That I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
If you told me to cry for you I could
If you told me to die for you I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you.

Well there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines.

And I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
And I know when I die you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you always.

Emotional Playlist

I categorized my songs into moods in my iPod and one of them I called the Emotional playlist. The Playlist contains only songs that in some way have affected me emotionally and I would have categorized them mostly into the relaxing music playlists if it were not for the baggage the music carries. I see music as a form of communication to the listener in manipulating their sense. I believe that songs that make you 'feel' are the best songs, but that is dependent on the special meaning to the listener themselves individually.

Here is the list of some songs that I have placed in the Emotional Playlists.


Bon Jovi
Always
"I will love you baby always and I'll be there forever and a day"

Bon Jovi are pioneers in Rock Ballads. Their lyrics on romance are sweeter than any rock cupid can deliver. 'Always' has a special place in many hearts for the heart wrenching tear shedding chorus, especially to those could not stop loving.

Best time to listen: When you feel down and thinking of that special person.

Bruce Springsteen
The Wrestler
"Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?"

It's a tribute to those people who dangers their lives for the sake of others but are unnoticed, burnt out and exhausted. It was played after the ending of The Wrestler and those who understood the protagonist would have felt the same as I did. That is when the screen went black and the song played, once the credits start rolling you shed tears for The Wrestler.
Best time to listen: After watching The Wrestler.

Danny Gokey
You are so Beautiful to me
"Can't you see you're everything I need"

The most perfect simple ballad to the person you are in love with. Can you imagine yourself sitting down as you stare into her eyes and sang this song the way Danny did? To carry the heavy load of your love and release it into a powerful voice full of energy.

Best time to listen: When you are in love and you find yourself sitting down outside as the cool breeze engulfs you in emotions.

Dewa 19
Dewi
"Dewi, kaulah hidup ku. Aku cinta pada mu sampai mati."

One of the two malay songs in the playlist. 'Dewi' was popular for its jazzy tune mixed in as a rock ballad. Dewi in English means Goddess and the song, like 'Always' is for those who can't stop loving.

Best time to listen: On your bed trying to catch some sleep.

Ella
Demi
"Didalam bagaikan benih yang belum bernyawa"

It's about a woman in love. She describes her feelings in an ovarian reference, giving in some way a sense of feminism of which relates perfectly with Ella. The lyrics above is translated as "Inside is like a seed waiting for life".

Best time to listen: If you want to listen to songs with lyrics that are unusual but unique in a special way.


Lia
Feel like Girl
"Do you remember what you said to me, it's been ringing in my heart"
Sang by a Japanese singer with some really good English. The words deliver and in somewhat a tribute to the Anime of which it is played in, you do feel like a child again. Ironically, it was played during the famous survival game, a gun battle on school campus.
Best time to listen: When you feel like a girl. Or better yet, when you watch the second season of School Rumble.

Oasis
Stop Crying your Heart out
"'Cause all of the stars are fading away. Just try not to worry. You'll see them someday"
It's meant to cheer you up when you are in great loss. It tells you not to worry and that someday you'll try again. When you have friends crying, give them a hug and sing in a whisper to their ear. Tell them all will be fine.
Best time to listen: When you feel sad and are unsure on what to do. In some way, the song gives you an answer.

Paramore
The Only Exception
"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind."
It's about finding faith in love again. The song instantly gains your focus from creating sympathy in the beginning of the song but the hook of the song is the sweet and honest chorus. In my opinion the song is amazingly honest, has the perfect song structure and is one of the great examples of impressive songwriting. A good song to listen to for ages.
Best time to listen: When you are enjoying the rain. The ambience is perfect.


I said in my previous post that I enjoy listening to my iPod when it is raining at daytime. So when it starts pouring and the cool comforting breeze starts blowing, have a listen to some of the songs and maybe you'll enjoy it the way I do.

The Nonexistent Simple life

I wonder why people view other people simple? Is it our natural behavior to generalize everyone so we find ways to treat them accordingly, regardless of the individual differences? For example, if a person cares less in sharing certain interests, you treat the person as an outcast therefore hostile.

Life is not that simple and people tend to forget.

We are not exactly the most pure beings in the universe despite our ability to advance in record time. I once met a girl whose attitude towards religion has been conservative but of course temptation does seem to have a powerful affect on people and pregnancy seemed to her as her own armageddon. She kept her faith up but why do people lose theirs towards her?

Remember readers, next time you see a person who for some reason you have expressed a kind of dislike towards him or her just by looking, put yourself in their shoes and see the world the way they see it. Keep an open mind but retain your dignity. You must not forget that you are different but no different to the people around you. Stereotyping is disgusting.

Thank you for reading.

Blood and Rain

It was raining heavily today. Hours ago I was standing with my arms crossed and my earphones on as I listened to the amplitude of the rain complimenting the music I had played on my iPod. My iPod was on shuffle when it played by chance Paramore's The Only Exception of which was perfect to match the cool relaxing breeze of the air then.

Arms up, I remember the scene in Shawshank Redemption when Tim Robbin's character emerges from the dreadful sewers from the prison he escaped from. He shapes himself in a cross like form as he embraces the cold rain and his freedom.

I enjoy reliving classic movie moments. A bad habit caused by the uncontrolled imagination housed in my head.

Today people came to donate blood. Despite it's frequent gruesome use in the media, blood is life in a way that you give and take. Donating blood clears a conscience from the knowledge that through the act of giving your own blood will or may save another's life.

I couldn't because with all the stress I've accumulated the previous week, my blood pressure was higher than normal. Therefore, ineligible.

Which is true. It comes with acceptance of being able to study for an High National Diploma. Stressful days are common in ITB and if you find yourself free from assignments and other tedious work then it is considered a luxury and you are fortunate.

I've got one more homework to do.

Thank you for reading.

Happy Birthday Mom

It's mom's birthday today so we ate dinner at The Airport Restaurant to celebrate. Did I mention it was also my parents' wedding anniversary yesterday? In any case it is an inevitable fact that we came home with full stomachs and the urgency to run straight to the toilets to flush out the food excessively eaten to make room for a possible midnight snack.

Another inevitable fact is that people ask me how old my mom is, of which I always reply how seriously I lost count. Truthfully, I do remember her age but her closest friends will tell you she doesn't look her age. Let's lay it to rest and use that explanation, yes?

Happy Birthday mom. Have a good one.

Rot

I have this overwhelming anger clouding my mind. I'm quickly losing concentration and school hasn't been the most friendliest of places. Mostly it's because of the people I'm surrounded with, a couple of children who can't do things themselves and always dependent on the sufferings of people.

I should have turned my back on them instead of bowing to their needs.

Let them all rot if I care.

Presentations, Legends and Silverbolts.

I'm now done with my two presentations for CO and BC1. I now have a week of tranquility and peace. I had this tremendous migraine during my presentation on Subliminal Messages in Advertising of which is caused unknown.

BC1 presentation on How Technology helps with Business Operations, however, I delivered with a clear head but an unexpected event where my foot had struck a cable connected to the computer monitor had short circuited the projector and the splitter connected to it, forcing the rest of groups presenting to move to the other computer lab.

Why of all people who had stepped on that platform where the cable protrudes I have to be the unlucky one to break it? The heaviest maybe. In the end a burnt mark where the cable formerly resides is now a reminder to everyone to look where you are walking.

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times.

In any case, I've been Tweeting my outbursts and everyday stories in Twitter.com of which now I believe is very addictive.

Other than that, I can now sit down in front of the television with the PS3 controller in my hand and play Brutal Legend. It's a rock ballad for all the heavy metal fans who can't shake the metal out of their blood.  Yes, the metal will remain in our blood for the years to come.

Speaking of blood. The Silverbolts have been getting quite a turnout from those registered and the curious ones. I believe we now have 14 men and 16 women in our team and from those I got to know recently had already developed a kind of love for Rugby. I've also been elected president for the newly formed club. We'll see how the team will survive in the coming harsh years of assessments, assignments, group studies, research and other tough loving courseworks given to us in ITB.

But then, the thing about Rugby is it lets you forget all the stress and pressures of school. More like curl it into a ball and releasing it in the form of athletics and determination to play the most intense sport in the world.

As an ending note, if you want to make a good presentation please refrain yourself from reading cards or paper where your notes are scribbles. You can't make a good presentation from just reading. It involves engaging the people listening to you and watching as you make your point. Therefore engage the audience, not the paper. At least keep a small piece from your notepad in case you forget what to say. Luckily I have my trusty iPod in case anything gets too dull.

Thank you for reading.

PSP go

Caught the dudes in the Computing Dept. playing their PSPs. Cool part is one of them had the latest PSPgo in his hands playing PixelJunk Monsters in Multiplayer. It looks really small, can connect to the PSN to download games, no UMD and looks wickedly good.

I have no plan to get one. Instead I am devoting myself to getting an iPod Nano so I can spend all the stressful wasteful times listening to music. PSP and NDS war still goes on here. lol! Seriously though, it's as small as Dad's handphone :)

Form 3's Last Tuition Class

This morning I gave the Form 3 some more practice before their English Language exams tomorrow. Still playful but improving. I can only pray that they'll do well in their exams. LOL! They even asked if they could join my rugby team after the exams. Pass first!

Good luck and don't forget your tenses, good handwriting, structure, grammar, punctuation etc etc. In a Saffuan-ish voice: Become a pilot. LOL!

IMTS Farewell Gig

Dan texted me about the IMTS farewell gig last night. I really like the Snakes. Their music is always inspiring and impressive, especially live. I guess I still feel sad since most of the people I know left for the UK. I'm looking forward for their Album if they release it.

Also met Keem, Fae and Nisa surprisingly along with her friend Arni is it? Anyway, good to be back with my old friends after being holed up in ITB. Yes, assignments to do and exams to revise.

Neon Love...

Peaceful Saturdays and After School Lectures

It was a quiet Saturday in the morning. Everyone is discussing their tutorials and lectures and the presentation assignments they are effortly trying to finish on time. Saturdays are always peaceful in school for me. That day I came to school and realized everyone is wearing their malay clothes and I thought they held the Raya celebration early. My mistake, I forgot that for this lecture you had to wear smart. So Blue Cards in the ready and my handphone camera in hand, here are some pictures on the seemingly festive atmosphere despite the lecture being of serious matter. At least the meals were great.

For some reason Blogger is working on the Internet Explorer but not Mozilla Firefox and Safari. Why?!

Wassup with my Blogger?

Testing Testing one two three. Please tell me my Blogger wasn't Hacked! I can't post any pics now. :(

Snow Leopard

I upgraded my Mac OS X last month just in time for my birthday. You can find it Av Electronics by now, but last time I was there it sold out. The Snow Leopard (or the Mac OS X 10.6 ) is no different than its Operating System predecessor (The Leopard OS X) but many who passionately bought it will tell you that it is worth its money (quoting from Naddy here).

Well, first of all it is faster. I mean really fast. It loads pretty quickly, something to do with accessing the processor I think, and it also upgrades all the other applications (excluding the ILife that is already installed) such as the Quicktime, Safari and the ITunes. The new Quicktime is wicked and Safari is lightning fast with its new features too. I don't think have any words in mind to describe it, sometimes you've got to see it for yourself.

I'm already attached to the Macbook so I added some applications like the flash game Flow, a Twitter app, the videogame Spore and last but not least Skype of which looks really amazing on the Macbook.

Now the WiFi is fixed, I can now blog away anywhere at home with my handy macbook under my fingertips.

IPod Nano

I've been thinking about these really thin aluminum pieces a lot lately. Every time I enter AV Electronics my focus tends to wander at the IPods since I got the Macbook. Actually, even before the thought of owning a laptop, my mind was already spinning through the rainbow of Nanos.

What pulls a person to the IPod? Is it its sleek design, the futuristic look, the numerous features, the amazing sound, the clear screen, the large number of songs, its internet capabilities, the personality of its colors, the earphones, the small pocket size, the mobility, and so on?

There will be a day. What I can only do is pray. What more I can say. Except Rhyme away.

Ping.fm

I signed up in this website called Ping.fm and I really like it. It's neat because how it works is it updates your blogger, Tweets and Facebook status in one single website, even simultaneously. I recommend you give it a try at http://ping.fm/ then add up the networks you want to update. It kind of helps in removing the tediousness of visiting each website just to updates your statuses.

The fun part? I typed up this post in Ping.fm :)
The not-so-fun? I had to post the image in Blogger again. But good things come to those who wait right? I'm sure it's possible some day. It's the future anyway.

Trying out Ping.fm to see if its awesome as they say.

20th Birthday Cake

There were two chocolate cakes during my 20th Birthday, both with mine and Zani's names on delicious chocolate. We started on the first cake when Saffuan T-Rex arrived with candles lit up and brought to Zani much to his surprise. We sang the Birthday song but the candles were already blown off by the air conditioner. It's not so bad because the chocolate cake was delicious enough to die for.

We were already munching half of the cake when we forgot to take the picture. You could see part of the flat chocolate bitten off by moi. Happy Birthday to Zani and I even though its already a week. I'm thinking of getting myself a birthday gift once my allowance arrives. An IPod would be nice unless there's somebody being generous *hint*

Khairul Cut his Hair

Anyone who misses Khairul's signature hair and his obsession in getting in right (joking dude!) will have to wait for it to grow back. What a way to liven the mood before our Business Statistics test. Anyone notice how much he looks like Zani?

LOL!

An Eagle at my Window

In one cool sunny afternoon, the heat had already died down from the light refreshing rain. Once the rain had stopped, the sun begins to show itself again. Revealing a wondrous creature outside my window.

It was difficult to classify whether it was some pigeon that decided to hang around at my house. I looked at it with great admiration before it flew away. It's white crown, and its sharp claws had given it the majesty of its appearance. However, once it spread its wings and flew I know what I saw.

An eagle. A symbol of power.
I take this as a sign for all great things to come.

Hello again

Now that I changed my address, I can now stop worrying about my outdated blog address. I mean, seriously. The Zeolot Diary was some thing I came up with in Form 3. It'd be a pretty awkward name now that I am studying HND.

It's like a breath of fresh air I guess now that I'm blogging again. A lot has happened between my last post and today. First of all, I turned 20 last Saturday. ^^ The big 2-0 is not as scary like what people say. I do look forward to 21 though, just hope it's not crazy. We celebrated by holding an open house during Raya, so its alot of work. Alot of our friends came along and we had all this food that when the day ended we got to enjoy it while it lasts.

Paramore's new album came out a few days ago. I got to listen to it on my macbook and I love it. You could see the change. If Riot is all energy, then Brand New Eyes is all emotion. I won't forget All we know is Falling, that's still a kick-ass awesome first album. I can already imagine myself in a Paramore concert joining in voice with the rest of the audience singing to The Only Exception.

Also, there's the blackouts. I haven't had this much sweat since I played rugby. Three days straight, even in school I was sweating a lot. Especially on Tuesday. You could feel all the perspiration steam all over the roof in the lecture room (air-con's busted, been like that since we arrived). Poor Maya, pray she'll be alright.

Spore is now on my mac. I'm going crazy on it but once I reached the space age, it's way out of my league. However, I still get to make my creature look badass. Named it after the one-hundred armed giants in greek mythology, but that doesn't mean I gave it a hundred arms!

And finally, its the first of October. How many friends have left? I do feel guilty not seeing them off but I do get really upset with all those goodbyes. So I apologize, but let me know when you come back. We'll go have some fun.

Oh and yes, I'm waiting for my allowance so I can quit my job and get myself something nice. See you everybody!

It's a Celebration that happens every year

I've already submitted my PO report and today, my CO report so it is already a cause for celebration. Raya is in a few days and it's already semester break. Well, a one week holiday. In any case, my KB colleagues went home and maybe some decorating the tutorial room will bring up the festive spirit once they come back.

Yipeee!

Sent the flier to Hjh Halimah and will start posting them today and during Raya. It's time to impress people with the kind of Marketing Campaign I did when I was in PTEB. Surely, everyone was pulled into the Comic Contest, so it's time to grab warriors for next year's PSK and other tournaments.

Afraid of the Darkness

Major blackout in two days straight. Interesting fact is that it is now one week till Raya starts. Sometimes I wonder is someone is messing with the power cables like some terrorist who is bent on destroying the week's festive spirit. It's be funny, if you think about it, with nearly everyone rushing to the shops to buy big bulks that will last the month just to find that the power went out and all the cashier queues are stretched long because the cash register is out of order.

To tell you truth, I dread the darkness even though I depend on it to catch sleep. It reminds me how you can get lost easily if you can't see whatever is in front of you. Some like myself would feel all claustrophobic for a moment but try not to break down from the anxiety. Imagine if you're a blind man but you can't hear whatever is around you. Believe it or not, I'd purposefully tap the metal railings of the staircase at home just so that anyone would know where I was or ensure myself I know where I was.

I haven't told anyone yet, but during that training scheme the seniors held for us in the beginning of the year where they blindfolded us so that we could communicate scared the hell out of me. It felt like I was walking in circles while everyone was calling me out. I froze a few times with my hands feeling the edges of the tables surround us guiding me where I was going.

I still keep the blindfold just to remind myself how lost I felt. When I think about it, I wonder why I was afraid of the darkness in the first place. I guess it reminded me what it feels to be lifeless.

Hakim Cherry leaves for Cardiff

Everyone will miss the Cherry Bomb because he's a great friend to everyone and well, I really respect Cherry (despite the funny nickname, long story). He's one of those irreplaceable friends in a group with a funny jamaican accent lol. Let's say he's a cool friend and I doubt anyone could be like Cherry.

You could see it from the doors of hello to the doors of goodbye, it's like we were eager to not let Cherry leave yet, a march of friendship. The most emotional for me I guess is when Cherry, Saffuan T-rex, Arif and myself scrum bind (because Dibs asked for a rugby pose) for a photo. I know Cherry as a great team mate and someone, how you put this, who doesn't leave anyone behind. Respect. Good luck Cherry and Godspeed.

With Zym leaving on Sunday, Zaty next week and Zul on my birthday, September is definitely going to be emotional.

Polar girl

Walking in The Mall, I met Kak Fae (Kak Naj's friend) on this booth for donations for the Polar Girl. There she explained about the Polar Girl, a woman named Era who will go on the Commonwealth Women's Antartic Expedition. Must have been a great honor, being one of the first few women and the first Bruneian to explore the Antartic.




I remember I dreamt of exploring the South Pole too, traveling the pure white desert of ice on my skis. Although a dream like this is almost impossible for me to realize, it's amazing to know that there is someone in Brunei who will be doing such a task. How it will fare for her with the weight of history on her shoulders. I salute you.

In any case, try dropping by The Mall on Monday and donate as little as one dollar. If that's not motivating, what about a bookmark and a free session in Rock Climbing? I promised Kak Fae I'd let all my Rugby mates now (lol!).

Guess who blocked my Hyundai T_T

After buying some DVDs and pick up Aira from Contessa, some car blocked us at our parking spot and well, apparently if you want to go home at 6.00pm hoping to reach home and smell the home cooked feast, then someone's got a problem. Luckily however there was someone in the car, which turned out to be Kak Siti my cousin's fiance. My cousin blocked us while he went to buy food... GAAAHHHH!!!

But considerning that his car is a beautiful new Lexus, I didn't mind waiting at the driver's seat hehehe. It's such an admirable machine, I could feel power and love when I caressed the steering wheel.. lol. We even suggested to Kak Siti we switch cars hahaha.

On the phone with Bang Ah Ping:

Azzi

"No problem plg, kami dalam krita kita. Nyaman steering wheel kita ani."

(Got no problem, we're in your car though. Your steering wheel feels so good.)

Bang Ahping

"Eh antah kau"

(Whatever)

Happy Birthday Jessica

A big birthday greet to my best friend. It's been awhile since I made a birthday greeting on my blog, but to make up for mixing up her birthday last year (3rd with 23rd, sadly mistaken) I thought I'd post this greet here on my blog, and maybe talk about Jessie for a bit.

Jessica turns 20 today

Jessie is apparently really sociable and isn't afraid to get to know people as weird as they are. Her hobbies include drawing but she's currently taking up writing stories like I did. She is studying in UBD and has just taken up Japanese classes. We share a common interest for manga and we would always create commentaries and discussions on the Japanese culture. I think what makes her a special friend is her ability to listen to anybody, a gift that not many people have.

Best friends for seven years. A friendship that survived being rocky in many occasions. The kind Jessie would call a Cat and Mouse friendship where I'm the cat with the goatee. Here's to turning 20, Jesse.

Bon Voyage Hidayat, Nabil and Faizul

It's not easy to see your friends off. Some do find it ridiculous though to cry over them who may return a year or so. I guess the reason why friends see each other off when one of them leaves the country is not for the sake of those staying, but for those leaving. We don't realize it but there is a part of us that pulls us into that airport for that person just so they could remember us the way we are before he sees the way we will be a year later. And only God knows what will change.

Here's to Hidayat, Nabil and Faizul who just so happens to share the same flight to the UK. It is definitely not easy to see three of your friends leave at the same time. May the world stay the way it is and if it is allowed to change, let it be a bright one.

My recent Tweet:
Hard to see some friends go. Bon Voyage @hayat1811, Faizul and Nabil. Maybe someday I'll be on a plane, far from here too. Someday.

ITB Rugby

I did promise Gmiee I'd take over the rugby team in ITB. Originally, it was meant for them to play for the UBD Sharks but seeing how the Head Lecturer of the club is hoping ITB would be recognized by the BRFU, much effort is needed. Yesterday, I went to meet Hjh Halimah who, surprisingly was already familiar with the Rugby culture. Even more so when I realized she played Touch Rugby with us a few months back. It is a small world after all.

I'm currently typing up fliers for both the Rugby team and and Women's Touch Rugby Team while inviting anyone interested to join. The women especially, I almost got a few interested. In any case, once I'm done with these fliers (now in the stage of picking out photos from this year's rugby season), I'll present them to Hjh Halimah before putting them up the notice board. You see, this is where the Mac comes in. A perfect advertising tool.

Last night, my Sixers Captain and rugby buddy texted:
"Bro, itb rugby, I'm in. All the pain and joy, I'll take it with you... all the way to the try line"

And just like that Saffuan 'T-Rex' brought back the spirit of Rugby. How he knew my intentions is a mystery but that's what I like about Saffuan. He has the heart of a Rugby player, something I've been trying to reacquire. I sense our Glory Days returning, like a flock of birds signaling the coming of Spring or like old veteran soldiers ready to share the battlefield again.

Walking in UBD with Jesse as a guide

I was at the UBD library looking to open my resources widely. It's definitely bigger and more high tech than ITB (and the wifi works on my macbook) but I'm not saying we should all go there. Most people appreciate the homely feeling of the library in ITB. In any case, walking in there is like entering Singapore's International Airport. The security guard helped me around to find the information desk so I can get a layout of the place but I guess without any help, I might get lost again. Fortunately, and it is inevitable, the people I know in PTEB were excited to see me there. In turn I was happy to see some familiar faces.

But I needed help from my close friend. Who else than my best friend, Jesse? Sent her a text and next thing you know we both went around the campus with Jesse as a guide. I was lucky enough to have Fakhrul days ago to show me around but I'm afraid if I arrived there alone, again I'd get lost. You're seeing now a person with no sense of directions. As theorized and proven true by my big sister.

We went to FASS, SHBIE, the Canteen (which is surprisingly called Taman Selera, "Garden of Delicacies"?) then ending up in the Language Centre where Jessie's Japanese class starts at 2pm. I stayed for awhile chatting about Japan, my trip there and her experiences in her Japanese Club (can't remember the abbreviation). Ka, if you're reading this, Jesse finds you an inspiration :) She's going to Japan sometime and might like to meet you once.

Oh, while at the language center, who's name did I find on one of the doors? My cousin, Kaka Suci ^^

So we ended our stop at her Japanese class an hour before it starts. She with her lunch and myself with the macbook showing pics of my trip to Japan last year, we discussed what'll it be like living there and how much food you can take in and still lose weight. Just like old times.


Here are some pics of the people I met in the library. Oh, to explain the hat, I'm currently bald :D

Azizi my home boy. Always a laugh!



Met Fifah and her gang. I really miss them PTEB people.

Forgot to take a picture with Jesse. Next time then. I'm happy and fortunate enough though to see Jesse. Someone asked us if I'm a new student there. "No," said Jesse. "He's my best friend since how long? Since Form 3 right?"

"Form 2, we've been friends for seven years."
Amazing how old friends bond.

Why do we need heroes if we can save ourselves?

I'm currently experiencing a drawback. I cannot shake this sense of paranoia, something I acquired during my unsettling years in SMJA, in which I think had caused a lot of people harm and myself especially. Sometimes I tend to damn people in my mind, but at the same time I feel great sadness and pain inside. After that, I stop being sad and feel pity with a big sense of longing.

Why do people act the way they do? How come there are people who can't get rid of being spoon-fed, always wanting someone to depend on or blame on. Why do we need heroes if we can save ourselves?

I'm sorry. Someone told me how to do my job and I feel upset. Upset of feeling betrayed or feeling wrong, or hating myself. Eventually, I stop being sad and feel only pity. Pity towards whoever doubted me and those who can't appreciate faith in a person. No, I shall not change for anybody or else we lose ourselves. I shall never be insecure for your petty needs.

Don't think me wrong. I don't hate anybody, I learned that lesson. Sometimes you do feel like you want someone to burn and die, but then when you play with fire you get burned. And then it becomes a cycle, a forest fire, all from your own doing.

This is my first depressing note after a long time. Hopefully, it'll be my last.

I used to be in place where the best way to help pain is hugs, chocolate, cake, funny conversations, lent ears, and soft speech. Now, I am in a place where nobody would do any of them. I miss the people then, whose smiles were free.

Twitter

I've only started Twitter-ing recently. Now I'm updating it every hour. I can see now it's addictiveness. From what I know about about Twitter is that it's like those status updates in Facebook, but you update them anytime, anywhere using your phone or on the computer.

Here's something I read. Twitter is an application for microblogging, like blogging here only in a few words, built to ask you the simple question, "What are you doing now?". In turn, you can follow your friend's 'Tweets' or follow your favorite media personality. Then it brings you up-to-date information on who you are following, written by the people themselves. You can see it's impact on the media culture today, it's arms stretching across many topics from politics to education to business to entertainment news.

It's neat. If you're looking for me, go type in Ziggy Latif. I'll be tweeting :D

MIcrosoft Office 2008 for Mac

Software suites, what a coincidence. I was studying about them for a quiz in Business Computing 1. Passed it too, I will have to thank my curiosity on the workings that differ a Mac and a PC as well as waiting for the MS Office for Mac software that was recently purchased. A student discount too, getting into ITB does have its benefits.



Most of the work and data I acquired for assignments and lecture notes required MS Word, MS Excel and MS PowerPoint. Luckily, the MS Office 08 for Mac had all three. I installed them as soon as I got it and tested out the notes and assignments that couldn't be opened in the Macbook. I was excited! Just in time for the PowerPoint assignment next week.

Next to the three, it had MS Entourage. It looks neat then I realized it was in fact MS Outlook Express. Why the name, I don't know. But it did give me a sense of Computer Wizardry now that I have a Personal Information Manager. And surprisingly, it also installed Microsoft Messenger. Now I'm torn between that and Adium. Wicked.

Next on my to-do list is to figure the MS Word out so I can do all my BC1 Tutorials. In the mean time, see you everybody!

Computer Genius

It was one of the activities in Business Computing 1 today. We had to login and play these games that test our knowledge. Knowledge meaning to see if we studied Discovering Computers 2010 Chapter 3. And yes, I studied! (*thumps fist on chest with pride*). So we partnered up into two and played Who Want's to be a Computer Genius? A kind of mock Millionaire game with a button that says "Final Answer" every time you click an answer. Then you gain money and so on.

High Score and the Wall of Fame! Woot!

We got the highest score in the class, well until Khairul's group grrr... We were waving our hands calling for the Lecturer to see our answer. 15 out of 17 right answers. Even got in the Wall of Fame hahaha. To the surprise of the Accounting group whose BC1 tutorial was after us. It's all thanks to Han though, my partner in the activity. Whenever I'm in a rut with the answer, he always got the answer. Man, the way we held our breaths when we are not sure of the answer! Eventually, we get it correct usually ^^

And turns out the games were revision for the quiz after that. Simple Multiple Choice Questions, True or False, and Fill in the Blanks. And what do you know, 22 out of 30, a good start ^^

Is a man not entitled?

"Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?" The words echo from Andrew Ryan's mouth. I may have quote this from Bioshock (one of my favorite PS3 game riddled with objective philosophy set in a dystopian world where Orwell meets 20,000 leagues under the Sea) but I'm really serious about it.

I think the quote stuck while I was studying People in Organizations on Monday how motivation is factorized by the equity of the individual's work. Equity meaning the share but mostly referring to the fairness of their work.

I'm thinking about sacrifices. If a man sacrifices for the sake of everyone, will anyone look up to him? Well, it's either no or yes but there is always that self satisfaction. The idea that you just saved some lives changes everything. You're just happy that you helped.

A man is entitled to the sweat of his brow.

But only the man can taste it.

Don't go Ewww on me! O_O

The Long Patience to get there

Changed my blog template. Hope you guys like it. It's kind of fitting at the moment, I'm now blogging with the macbook on my lap. And I pretty have gotten used to this thing. I got all my homework in here, downloaded some comic books, typed in here for notes and refer to the teacher's presentations right in here. Yes, ITB life is all busy.

I must not forget my goals though. In fact my intentions have all been written in BIG, BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS somewhere in my head. Won't reveal it, but it's got to do with family and spring. Yes, spring. Just so happens I heard my cousin is going there.

Only God can tell how my trail leads. But I've got to see it through with an open heart and a head of steel. Here's to the future, and the long patience to get there.

Happy Fasting

Tomorrow the fasting month starts. It's funny we don't have any change of schedules for ITB yet. Imagine if we don't have any changes and we still have to go home at 3.40pm? erk. Anyway, that means no more morning coffee and any slipping of dirty words until the next month. That's alright, I mean we go through this every year, why worry? I remember I spent most of my time in school last year playing Basketball with Amirul and Caesar, and if I feel extremely hungry, some sit-ups would do the trick. Eventually, I will faint on the couch and wake up on time for sungkai.

I shaved again, starting a tradition every fasting month. I leave it clean on the first day then leave it unshaved until raya. Usually it won't last.

Anyway, on the latest news of my life. I've been completing my homework and assignments, some easy some not, and this kept me busy pretty much the whole week. In school, the lecturers helped me a lot whenever I don't understand. Now, I pretty much understand most of the business concept. In any case, everything is all so familiar. It's like studying English, Sociology, Statistics, Accounting, and Computing. Computing is a lot of fun, I enjoy the learning experience. Most of the time, I'd be sitting down and scribbling notes in every lesson, but now with the macbook I can always type it down . Well, that is if the lecturer allows it.

For my macbook developments. I can now easily blog in my room and listen to music on it whenever I feel tired. Just recently I purchased Microsoft Office 2008 for Mac for a discount. I thought the low price was hard to believe but it turns out the MOE is paying for the rest, thus the Student discount. With Business Computing requiring Microsoft Office 2007 in its assignments, how can I resist?

In other news, as a Group Representative for Marketing, I have to provide some easy way to spread updates and information to my other mates. So I made a blog, because it is easier and more familiar to me. Have a check, see how much stuff we have to handle.

My ITB Blog for my course mates:
http://itbbmk2509.blogspot.com/

Winning Days

It's the last game of the season for the Black Yachties. Never thought new jerseys was fitting to end the season. Light weight and sweat absorbent. Perfect. Third place isn't so bad. Some who haven't came to see the game and the finals might feel bad. What's great is it isn't really about winning or losing, it's about surviving. But to quote last year's Bandar Black cheer: "Do we like winnning? YES!"



There's always a valuable lesson in things like these. I'm not going to touch on them here because I've been talking about it every rugby post. But to me, the best part will always be after the game. It's like a movie with a cliffhanger (no pun attended Clifford!) every time. And you will always want to play more.

Thanks Lisa for the shots. I have immortalised your photos in my blog hahaha.










I was really nervous at first, I never thought I'd play. Since ITB and the sprain foot I thought I lost my chance for the final game, but thankfully the front rows got rolling substitutes and I got the first 15 minutes. Real proud boys. Real proud and grinding myself to play much better again.