Je vous aime

Sunday, September 30, 2007
I had a really sad dream last night. I thought of it as a sad dream because I found myself partly in tears when I woke.

I was on my bed when I found someone I know sleeping next to me. I stared at her face for awhile as I admired the way her eyes close in serenity, her face - her clear complexion, the way her hair lay on her pillow..

Her eyes opened, revealing that same look she had when I made my jokes. Puzzled, then a smile.

I said, "You know, seeing as you are on my bed which is impossible, this is probably a dream."
She said, "Yes"
I said, "I think I still love you"
She said, "I know"
I said, "Is there ,by any chance, still a place for me in your heart?"
She didn't reply.

She placed her hand in my face, then she said "I just can't. I'm sorry."

It was 3 something in the morning and I was crying on my bed.

I want to confess something I haven't confessed to anyone.
I fell in love 3 times in my life.

One who said no.
One who I thought was better off with someone else.
One who I was cruel to.

The one on my bed is the one who said no. A best friend I betrayed then.
Is love really that harsh? Or is it because I was?

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